Me Screaming About The Last Five Years Because I'm Obsessed and Self-Indulgent (Part 2)

Courtesy of Radius-TWC
L to R: Anna Kendrick, Jeremy Jordan

Glad you're back for more! If you're confused, here's my first post about this topic. Yeah, I know. I went a little nuts there.

But now it's going to get even more nuts. Is that even possible? Well, you're about to find out.

To be honest with you, there isn't going to be any real content here. Just me geeking out over my favorite musical. But hey, if you're into that, join me for "The Next Ten Minutes."

Ha, get it?

...

I'll be here all night, folks.

Anyway, as I write this, I'm sitting down and listening to each track of the show (the movie version because Jeremy Jordan) and just ranting about each one. Yes, this is what my life has amounted to. Aren't you proud, ma?

I wanted to include cute gifs from each scene in the movie but I was questioning the legality of that and I really don't want the first time I meet Jeremy Jordan and Anna Kendrick to be in a courtroom so enjoy these reaction memes instead.

Listen along with me here!

"Still Hurting" (Cathy)

1. The piano intro of "Still Hurting" is a reoccurring theme in the whole show, appearing at the beginning in "Still Hurting", in the middle in "The Next Ten Minutes", and at the end in "I Could Never Rescue You."
1. This piano intro is actually the melody of "I Could Never Rescue You", tying the beginning of the movie (which is technically the end of their relationship) to the ending of the movie.
1. Here it's called "Prologue" if you buy the music sheets/vocal score and I've used it to learn the music and I noticed that it's in 3/4 time, the time signature used in all waltz music. Jason Robert Brown's choices are so precise AHHHH
2. The "Jamie is probably feeling just fine" line: it's awfully bold and ignorant to assume that you're the only one hurting in a relationship, Cathy but its understandable to be blinded when you've just been slapped with divorce news
3. THE VIOLIN SECTION IS BEAUTIFUL 
4. The "Jamie is over and where can I turn, covered in scars I did nothing to earn" line: Man, these lyrics hurt me

"Shiksa Goddess" (Jamie)

1. Jeremy Jordan's laugh as he sings this and the fact that I can literally hear him smiling throughout the whole song
2. Just the whole part where Jamie lists all the Jewish girls he's tried to be with, I just love Jeremy Jordan's take on it
3. The actual message of this song isn't the best (imagine only wanting to be in a relationship with someone to rebel against your family) but it shows a lot of Jamie's character 
4. The "I think that I could be in love with someone like you" line: I'm not gonna mention it yet but its another reoccurring theme

"See I'm Smiling" (Cathy)

1. Remember that violin section that I mentioned earlier? Now it's the intro of "See I'm Smiling" (only in the movie version)
2. The way that the one chord is played simply over and over again, lingering in the back during the intro and throughout parts of the song creates this sense of tension, as if we're building up to something. And oh boy, are we building up to something.
3. Just the lyrics as a whole, Cathy is trying so hard to convince herself and Jamie that their relationship isn't crumbling as a result of BOTH of their incompetence
4. Cathy's sudden sing-speaking as she blows up on Jamie when he says that he can't watch her show
1. THEN SHE REALLY BLOWS UP ON JAMIE
5. The "You, you, and nothing but you, marvelous novelist you. Isn't he wonderful? Just 28! The savior of writing." line: this makes me so sad with how it comes back later into the show.
6. The "I swear to God I'll never understand, how you can stand there, straight and tall. And see I'm crying and not do anything, at all" line: it's no longer "see I'm smiling" she's crying, I'm crying, you're crying, we're all crying.

"Moving Too Fast" (Jamie)

1. I tried learning the piano accompaniment to this song and my hands physically said no. It's absolutely brilliant but INSANE.
2. The "I found a woman I love, and I found an agent who loves me" line: and he finds a publicist that loves him too. But I'll get there later.
3. The "Some people can't find success with their art, some people never feel love in their heart, some people can't tell the two things apart. But I keep rolling on" line: huh, that's ironic.
4. HIS BELTING AND RIFFING
5. "moving too fast" isn't exactly how you should be discussing a healthy relationship.
6. The "I left Colombia and I don't regret it" line: Jamie's a college drop out? 
7. The growl on "out of control" is SO GOOD

"A Part of That" (Cathy)

1. The intensity of the verse, where Cathy is a bit frustrated at Jamie's apparent self-centeredness and workaholic attitude contrast with the tenderness of the chorus where she points out his smile that she loves, that she helps makes appear
2. The "handful after handful of Doritos, circling the apartment logging miles" line: relatable
3. Cathy is self-aware that she's often just tagging along, as "Author Jamie Wellerstein's wife" and she accepts it. Or does she?
4. The "I'm a part of that, aren't I" line: This plus the continuous repetition of "I'm a part of that" conveys the same image of Cathy's doubt and desperation in their relationship that we saw previously with "See I'm Smiling" but it's less extreme because this takes place before "See I'm Smiling" (sometimes this chronology thing gets confusing)
5. The outro is the first few chords of "Still Hurting" (not the "Prologue", but what comes right after it)

"The Schmuel Song" (Jamie)

1. This song is very much Yiddish to pay homage to Jamie's very apparent Jewishness and I love the Klezmer influences in the instrumentation 
1. the chorus is so starkly different in genre, but it fits so well with Jamie, "Shiksa Goddess", and how he wants to rebel against his Jewish-ness by being with Cathy
2. I love the storytelling here!! I have really nothing more to say besides this.
1.  This story is the reason why this song is in my top 3 of the whole show.
3. The "And sewn into the seams, were 41 seasons of dreams" line: Tears
4. The "Maybe its just that you're afraid to go out on a limb... ovich" line: Sure, it's cheesy, BUT I LOVE IT HAHAHA
5. The ending is just so cheerful, he's genuinely believing in Cathy even though she feels disheartened because of a bad audition: so heart-warming
1. this is honestly the only song where Jamie truly supports Cathy
6. The "Have I mentioned today, how lucky I am to be in love with you?" line: I'M IN MY FEELINGS

"Summer in Ohio" (Cathy)

1. The "But it wouldn't be as nice as a summer in Ohio, where I'm sharing a room with a former stripper and her snake. Wayne" line: makes me giggle every time. Wayne!
2. Comedic timing is key in this song
3. The movie makes lyric changes from "Borders" to "Target" to stay up to date. Good idea because I didn't know what Borders was before this show
4. Sorry, Richard, Cathy's taken
5. The "I guess I'm doing something right! I've finally got something right!" line: Not so soon...
6. The "Hurry up shmuck" line: more Yiddish slang!
7. The "and Mrs. Jamie Wellerstein, that's me!" line: ironic that she grows to despise only being associated as such (understandably so, but it also causes her to resent her own husband's success so I mean...)

"The Next Ten Minutes" (Jamie and Cathy)

1. Jamie starts with some odd phrases like "No, that one's Jerry Seinfeld. That one's John Lennon there. No, the Dakota" etcetera. It makes sense later, I swear.
2. DID I MENTION HOW MUCH I LOVE STRINGS
3. The "Will you share your life with me, for the next ten minutes, for the next ten minutes. We can handle that... And if we make it till then, could I ask you again for another ten?" line: such a beautiful line, but also gives hints on Jamie's fear of commitment. He wants 10 minutes, but what if he doesn't want another ten?
4. Still, Jamie's lyrics just make me want to fall in love with him
5. The "I will never be complete until I do" line: UNTIL I DO. UNTIL THEY GET MARRIED I'M CRYING
6. Cathy's explaining that she can't be on time, not blaming herself for the fact: character
1. lots of apprehension in her character
7. The harmonies in "Till the world explodes. Till there's no one left who has ever known us apart" is gorgeous
8. the "I do"s until they reach the complete unison I'm SCREAMING
9. The strings playing the "Prologue" theme with this repeated piano underscoring is immediately followed up with the intro of "The Next Ten Minutes"
1. The "Is that one John Lennon?" line: since Cathy's story is being told backwards Jamie's was forwards, the song begins with Jamie having a conversation with Cathy and ends with Cathy having that same conversation with Jamie but they never respond to one another because their stories move in different directions

"A Miracle Would Happen/When You Come Home to Me" (Jamie and Cathy, but not together)

1. The intro and certain parts of the instrumentation is very reminiscent of "Moving Too Fast"
2. Jeremy does this song in a somewhat speak-singing way, much different from how Norbert Leo Butz does it but I equally love both
3. Apparently Resisting Temptation As A Married Man Is A Challenge And Every Single Other Woman Has To Disappear In Order To Stay Loyal: A Book Written by Jamie Wellerstein
4. His repetition of "I'm fine" and "We're fine" nods to "See I'm Smiling"
5. The juxtaposition of this song as it's sandwiched between "The Next Ten Minutes" and "When You Come Home to Me" makes Jamie look like a total jerk. I'm not saying he isn't one though.
6. Jeremy Jordan's vocals make me love this song even though I hate this song.
7. Don't make promises you can't keep, Jamie.

"Climbing Uphill" (Cathy)

1. "When You Come Home to Me" makes a reappearance as a terrible audition song
2. Here's where the movie makes a lyric change I don't exactly agree with. In the original, she says "I'm climbing uphill daddy, climbing uphill" and in the movie she says "I'm climbing uphill Jamie, climbing uphill." A point of their relationship's downfall is that Cathy isn't explaining how she really feels about not being able to find a job and how his success affects her. Since they changed it from her talking to her dad to her talking to Jamie, it completely disregards this point. But moving on.
3. Her explaining the audition experience is so relatable
4. The "Listening all day, to 200 girls belting as high as they can" line: she sings as she proceeds to belt quite high
5. "When You Come Home to Me" makes another reappearance but it's really humorous now
1. humor hiding Cathy's huge insecurities
6. Cathy makes another mention of having children with Jamie but not once has he mentioned moving to that part of their relationship. Interesting...
7. Cathy's spite is overflowing towards the end
8. in the original album, it ends with another round of "When You Come Home to Me" but she's practicing really angrily, which makes Jamie yell at her for being so loud

"If I Didn't Believe In You" (Jamie)

1. The most condescending song in this whole show but in my top 3 songs
1. If I didn't do all these things, then our relationship would have ended much earlier
2. The "Don't we get to relax, without some new tsuris to push me yet further from you" line: more Yiddish slang, though maybe not the time
3. Jeremy's little adlibs he includes like "and" and "hey, hey" just make it so much better
1. I love the way he shouts "will you listen to me" whereas Norbert just sings it, it's just so much more gripping
4. The "I will not fail so you can be comfortable, Cathy. I will not lose because you can't win" line: That's just painful. 
5. The "If I hadn't believed in you, I wouldn't have loved you at all" line: Translates into, if I thought you were a huge loser then I wouldn't have married you

"I Can Do Better Than That" (Cathy)

1. She reinforces the idea from "Climbing Uphill" that she doesn't just want to be that suburban housewife
2. The "Made Carol-Ann a cute baby sweater thinking, I can do better than that" line: Cathy, you can be empowered without shaming other people. You know that, right?
3. The "Met a guy at a class I was taking with some very well placed tattoos" line: Movie made some lyric changes because Tom Cruise would have been basically double Cathy's age (the old lyric used to be "Met a guy at a class I was taking, who you might say looked like Tom Cruise") 
4. The "He blew me off with a heartfelt letter, I thought I can do better than that" line: "Still Hurting" showcases Cathy reading a letter from Jamie which explains that he's leaving her... It's happened twice to her now.
5. She keeps saying phrases like "you don't have to get a haircut, you don't have to change your shoes" which calls back to "Shiksa Goddess" where Jamie sings about all the terrible things that Cathy could be which he chooses to ignore because he loves her for not being a Jewish girl.
1. The "You don't have to eat prosciutto" line: Prosciutto isn't kosher!
6. The "I want you, you, and nothing but you, miles and piles of you" line: directly repeated from "See I'm Smiling"!
7. Takes place before "Moving Too Fast" because here she says "Say you'll move in with me"

"Nobody Needs To Know" (Jamie)

1. I should have foreseen it but I didn't catch on to the foreshadowing when I first listened to this musical and was fully deceived by the intro
1. Jamie refers to the person he is speaking to as "kid" then reveals "Cathy is waiting", so he's having an affair
1. this is the exact moment I burst into tears during the first listen
2. The "Look at us lying here, dreaming, pretending" line: double meaning on lying
3. The "I wrote a story and we changed the ending" line: one of a few callbacks to "Shiksa Goddess" wherein he sang earlier "you are the story I have to write", obviously because he's an author
4. The "Put on my armor, I'm off to Ohio. Back into battle, till I don't know when" line: Taking place before "See I'm Smiling"! The fact that he compares being with Cathy to a battle because they just keep fighting is just more proof of a relationship that should have ended long ago
5. The "Perfectly balanced, and then I start making, conscious, deliberate mistakes" line: It's just so angering and so chilling, yet I can't help but pity him. Neither one of them in this relationship is blameless
6. Jamie says he won't lie to the woman he's with, but how can she be so sure when he's lying to his wife?
7. The "Maybe I could be in love with someone like you" line: he's turned the line he sang to Cathy to another woman, who in the movie, is his publicist that I mentioned earlier, Elise

"Goodbye Until Tomorrow/I Could Never Rescue You" (Cathy and Jamie together)

1. Cathy says that Jamie "want[s] the last word" and in regards to their relationship, he really does.
2. Cathy, lovestruck and eager for the future, is saying goodbye to Jamie as they have recently gotten into a relationship and Jamie is saying goodbye forever... Yes I'm sobbing
3. Jamie is singing the words he's writing in the letter he leaves Cathy
4. The "I'm not the only one who's hurting here" line: he acknowledges his pain, Cathy's pain, and probably his mistress's pain where ironically, Cathy claims he must have been "feeling just fine" in "Still Hurting"
5. YUP HERE'S MY FAVORITE TRACK OF THE WHOLE SHOW
6. Cathy says she'll wait for Jamie, but he can't anymore
7. They both sing goodbye in unison, the only other thing that they sing in complete unison other than the "I do" in "The Next Ten Minutes"
8. It ends with that melody of "I Could Never Rescue You", piano then violin, and it really just sinks into your heart

And those are just my raw feelings about this show poured out into a bumbling chaotic mess of a blog post. I didn't even go and edit it because I wanted it to say exactly what I was feeling, even if it didn't make much sense. I truly love this show to bits and pieces and I hope that you at least found one bop in there!

I don't know if you could tell which side I was on, but I hope you couldn't. Over time as I've continued to listen to this show, I've learned that both parties were responsible for their failing relationship because they're flawed human beings. But I used to be on Team Cathy.

Thanks so much for joining in for this second part, my dudes, and I hope I didn't bore you to death! I also hope that this post makes sense since I've literally spent three hours sitting and writing it as I listened to The Last Five Years on repeat. It's now 2:35 am. I am running on a really medium-sized coffee and it's about to wear out so...

Until next time,

Nickels :)

Pictures Courtesy of @ReactionsMemes via Twitter
All lyrics are property of Jason Robert Brown